As festive, colorful, and fun as the holiday season can sometimes be, it can equally be stressful, frustrating, and emotionally difficult. If you're not feeling wintry sparkle-magic, it can be hard to communicate that to those around you or give yourself permission to really take a moment and honor what you're feeling.
Shopping. Wrapping. Decorating. Cleaning. Preparing food. Hosting. Traveling. Dealing with crowds and traffic and social obligations and kids home from college (or being home on break yourself). These logistical and financial demands can be extra-overwhelming when added to everyday responsibilities. Maybe you're going through something that makes the holidays even harder; perhaps there is drama or dysfunction to navigate in your family or you're experiencing grief or trauma that is intensified during the holidays. You might feel fragile and weepy or snappish and tense. Or all of the above! It's all okay.
It seems especially important this time of year to just start where you are. To give yourself space to feel whatever you feel. To check in and carve out time to care for yourself, whether you love the holidays or dread them.
Time passes and finances are tight and things are so
busy; self-care
becomes just another thing to feel guilty and stressed about. But there are many small things that can honor and lighten a heavy heart or stressed mind, and everyone has something that helps. Take a break to hit the gym or take a walk outdoors. Stretch on the floor or drop in to a yoga class. Do some meditation. Focus on your heart. Breathe deeply. Throw on some clean linens and go to bed early to maximize your sleep and rest. Drink a bunch of water and eat something awesome and healthy. Be good to your skin and hair and body. Catch a movie or start an absorbing book. Begin a creative project that inspires you. Write a letter or journal entry. Listen to music you love while you work and drive and wrap presents and pay bills. Light a candle or incense to ground your space. Call a friend or book a session with a therapist if you're feeling overwhelmed.
And if it doesn't sound too mercenary, and you are moved to schedule some bodywork, make an appointment with your massage therapist! That's what I and my colleagues are here for. To bring a bit of relief, restoration, and flexibility - on any random day or when the road seems especially dark or overwhelming.
I had a massage myself this week for the first time in waaaaay too long, and I'd forgotten how amazing it can feel to be on the other side of the proverbial table. Having someone check in with how you're feeling, how you're resting, where you're tense or holding pain and stress. Having someone relate with compassion and take time to listen... As someone who spends lots of time alone and takes care of herself with less or more success, it was wonderful to be tended to, and a perfect birthday treat from my beloved.
Try not to fret if you sometimes lose the thread and don't do a great job of taking time for yourself. There is no need for guilt or recrimination. Be gentle with yourself! If it's been a while, just start over. Make a loose plan. Try, in some small way, to regularly check in and do something good for you. Honor your worried mind. Your fatigued body. Your achy heart. And if there is anything I can offer, please do come see me.
I've got lots of availability in the next few weeks, and I'm offering long-term (9- and 12-hour) package specials in December that would set you up for a months and months of table time at my very lowest rate. Visit my online store to purchase a session or package or call or text me at 315-422-2228 to set something up. I would love to be part of your self-care commitment.
What helps when you're stressed or overwhelmed? What advice do you have for those that struggle to find the energy for self-care? How do you create space and time during the holidays? Are you mapping out a plan for connection and wellness in the new year?
I wish you the best. :)
17 December 2014
29 October 2014
Grandpa's Naptime, what?
JHA initial intake forms are pretty comprehensive, and it's all very important stuff: illnesses, injuries, chronic pain, emergency contact information, and the kind of music you prefer.
People often get stuck on this question, laugh a little and say, "Whatever!" But the question is sincerely asked and totally non-rhetorical! :) Most clients say that they'd like something relaxing or spa-like and I'm happy to oblige with one of my go-to playlists, but every once in a while there is a more detailed answer. Some have a preference for music without vocals or for unfamiliar pieces; they don't want to be distracted by the urge to sing along. Some prefer nature sounds or classical music or jazz. I once had a client request a James Taylor mix for his session; how much fun was that to pull together? I love music of various genres and eras and will do my best to get hold of whatever makes YOU feel happy and relaxed. Or sad and relaxed. It's all good.
If you have a playlist on your iPod or phone or a CD you love, feel free to bring it along and we'll queue it up. I've personally been working with Songza quite a bit lately - they have playlists for every mood, genre, decade, and obscure activity you can think of, some of which are quite entertaining. (Grandpa's Naptime?! Yes please.) A recent 90-minute was accompanied by Epic Film Scores at a client's request. Again, how much fun was that? It was a massage and trivia game in one.
I find music super evocative -- if it's the same for you, I'd love to create an atmosphere that fits just right.
The JHA treatment room has seen sessions of every length and mood...whether we're laughing and talking and having an '80s dance party or silent and calm and listening to The Saddest Song In The World (Barber's Adagio for Strings, in case you wondered) is entirely up to you. Your energy, your needs, your lead. My hope is to match it and magnify it so you feel heard and seen and cared for during our time and work together. If you ever need something adjusted during your session - if the temperature isn't right or the music is too loud or I'm chatting when you'd prefer quiet - please don't hesitate to tell me. Creating space and time just for you is a fundamental part of my job, and I truly care that you feel listened to and well met.
There are many, many options for someone looking for a massage in Central New York. From students doing public clinic to multimillion-dollar spa facilities, the choices are pretty much endless. Setting your practice apart can be a challenge for the smallest of small businesses, but there are things I can do to attract and retain clients and I take them very seriously, as I must. Giving my best massage is always on that list, but I can give more - which is a distinct benefit to being a sole practitioner!
I will always be as generous as I can with my time and energy. You will never be rushed on or off the table, and our intake conversation will never cut into your hands-on time (which is, oddly, unusual). I will try to offer specials and incentives that help make massage affordable and accessible and flexible for you and your friends and family. You choose whether to use a bolster or not, to start the session on your back or belly or side, to chatter away or be silent, to sleep or laugh or cry or meditate or some crazy combination thereof. We will customize the length and focus of your massage to address whatever needs attention that day and that moment.
Making it YOUR time, YOUR space, is something I hope JHA gets right. And whether that's accompanied by a mountain stream or Mountain, I'm all in.
<3
People often get stuck on this question, laugh a little and say, "Whatever!" But the question is sincerely asked and totally non-rhetorical! :) Most clients say that they'd like something relaxing or spa-like and I'm happy to oblige with one of my go-to playlists, but every once in a while there is a more detailed answer. Some have a preference for music without vocals or for unfamiliar pieces; they don't want to be distracted by the urge to sing along. Some prefer nature sounds or classical music or jazz. I once had a client request a James Taylor mix for his session; how much fun was that to pull together? I love music of various genres and eras and will do my best to get hold of whatever makes YOU feel happy and relaxed. Or sad and relaxed. It's all good.
If you have a playlist on your iPod or phone or a CD you love, feel free to bring it along and we'll queue it up. I've personally been working with Songza quite a bit lately - they have playlists for every mood, genre, decade, and obscure activity you can think of, some of which are quite entertaining. (Grandpa's Naptime?! Yes please.) A recent 90-minute was accompanied by Epic Film Scores at a client's request. Again, how much fun was that? It was a massage and trivia game in one.
I find music super evocative -- if it's the same for you, I'd love to create an atmosphere that fits just right.
The JHA treatment room has seen sessions of every length and mood...whether we're laughing and talking and having an '80s dance party or silent and calm and listening to The Saddest Song In The World (Barber's Adagio for Strings, in case you wondered) is entirely up to you. Your energy, your needs, your lead. My hope is to match it and magnify it so you feel heard and seen and cared for during our time and work together. If you ever need something adjusted during your session - if the temperature isn't right or the music is too loud or I'm chatting when you'd prefer quiet - please don't hesitate to tell me. Creating space and time just for you is a fundamental part of my job, and I truly care that you feel listened to and well met.
There are many, many options for someone looking for a massage in Central New York. From students doing public clinic to multimillion-dollar spa facilities, the choices are pretty much endless. Setting your practice apart can be a challenge for the smallest of small businesses, but there are things I can do to attract and retain clients and I take them very seriously, as I must. Giving my best massage is always on that list, but I can give more - which is a distinct benefit to being a sole practitioner!
I will always be as generous as I can with my time and energy. You will never be rushed on or off the table, and our intake conversation will never cut into your hands-on time (which is, oddly, unusual). I will try to offer specials and incentives that help make massage affordable and accessible and flexible for you and your friends and family. You choose whether to use a bolster or not, to start the session on your back or belly or side, to chatter away or be silent, to sleep or laugh or cry or meditate or some crazy combination thereof. We will customize the length and focus of your massage to address whatever needs attention that day and that moment.
Making it YOUR time, YOUR space, is something I hope JHA gets right. And whether that's accompanied by a mountain stream or Mountain, I'm all in.
<3
21 May 2014
Growing JHA
So after a few weeks of being extra-busy, thanks to my happily expanded availability, things have quieted down here at JHA. In some ways, that's great - I'm getting things done at my house and catching up on paperwork and crossing things off lists - but for my income, and for my practice, that's not so promising.
Something I'm rather bad at, maybe willfully, is marketing my business. Branding. Blahdy blah. I'm not aggressive in seeking new clients, and I don't care to make people feel manipulated or pressured into coming for a session. I've worked for people like that, and I find the sales pitch distasteful. Maybe I just have this sense that my people will come, that I don't have to coerce someone into taking my card or cold call strangers or bother existing clients until they rebook.
There is a certain chemistry between a massage therapist and client that is either there or not; if it's there, you begin to build a relationship with each session. You ideally work together to bring things into balance. There is mutual trust and respect and kindness and communication. It's sort of a self-selecting practice, which is very cool; it means that the people I work with regularly are people I trust and like. I enjoy working with them and feel invested in their well-being ... and they certainly contribute to mine, in no small part with my continued ability to live in a house and eat food. Yay food and shelter!
I find that most of these excellent clients come to me organically: either I already know them (hi, guys!) or they are referred by someone that's already been on my table. This is so meaningful -- I deeply appreciate the vote of confidence, and the fact that I work alone and in my home brings safety into play more dramatically than when I had a professional office some distance from my private life. (I seldom get calls from complete strangers here, which is likely for the best.)
I do perform some basic marketing work. I publicly post cards and coupons and if someone talks to me about their pain I offer what knowledge and services I can. I periodically mail information to local businesses offering on-site chair and table work. But all that's just ... filler. The real story of my practice will always be the people who come, who send their friends and family members, who think of me when a coworker says how stressed and achy they feel.
Existing clients are the primary way my business grows, and though it's a slow process, I kind of love it. Their visits and their referrals allow new clients - good, honest, safe clients - to find me in the first place, and to keep coming back if the work is helpful. I cannot overstate the importance they have in making this very small business grow. :) Thank you SO MUCH to all my amazing clients for all you do, for every visit and every person you send my way.
So: if you are reading these words, you're hired! Ha! Just kidding: I do understand that you are not my marketing department. I know it's my actual job to keep JHA in existence and I loathe when small businesses try to guilt people into supporting them. But without you, I'm just a girl whose healing hands are idle. You literally allow my most meaningful work to take shape. So how can you help?
If you have been meaning to come in, please do! If you are looking for a gift, consider massage certificates! If you've never tried massage therapy and you're curious or would like to know more, get in touch! You can honestly ask me anything. If you haven't liked the Juniper Healing Arts Facebook page, please click through! If you've been a client and have had a good experience, please rate me there or leave a review - or even better, share the page to your friends! Most of all, when someone tells you how tired they are, how stiff and stressed and sad, please do tell them to text or call me any time. I'd love to meet your people. :)
As for marketing, I have no plans to start spamming inboxes now that I am back to full time, and I won't be calling to say how long it's been since your last visit or ask when you plan to use your gift certificate. I won't be accosting strangers in elevators and hallways, saying they look tense or pointing out their painful-looking posture (that only happens in my head, haha). I do plan to use my blog a bit more, as if anyone is interested. ;) It helps me map my process and allows me to easily communicate with those I may not often see. If there are any topics you'd like me to address, any massage strategies or health questions or whatever, don't be shy! Leave a comment and I will address it if I can.
This practice is nothing without you, and EVERYTHING with you.
xoxo
JJ / JHA
Something I'm rather bad at, maybe willfully, is marketing my business. Branding. Blahdy blah. I'm not aggressive in seeking new clients, and I don't care to make people feel manipulated or pressured into coming for a session. I've worked for people like that, and I find the sales pitch distasteful. Maybe I just have this sense that my people will come, that I don't have to coerce someone into taking my card or cold call strangers or bother existing clients until they rebook.
There is a certain chemistry between a massage therapist and client that is either there or not; if it's there, you begin to build a relationship with each session. You ideally work together to bring things into balance. There is mutual trust and respect and kindness and communication. It's sort of a self-selecting practice, which is very cool; it means that the people I work with regularly are people I trust and like. I enjoy working with them and feel invested in their well-being ... and they certainly contribute to mine, in no small part with my continued ability to live in a house and eat food. Yay food and shelter!
I find that most of these excellent clients come to me organically: either I already know them (hi, guys!) or they are referred by someone that's already been on my table. This is so meaningful -- I deeply appreciate the vote of confidence, and the fact that I work alone and in my home brings safety into play more dramatically than when I had a professional office some distance from my private life. (I seldom get calls from complete strangers here, which is likely for the best.)
I do perform some basic marketing work. I publicly post cards and coupons and if someone talks to me about their pain I offer what knowledge and services I can. I periodically mail information to local businesses offering on-site chair and table work. But all that's just ... filler. The real story of my practice will always be the people who come, who send their friends and family members, who think of me when a coworker says how stressed and achy they feel.
Existing clients are the primary way my business grows, and though it's a slow process, I kind of love it. Their visits and their referrals allow new clients - good, honest, safe clients - to find me in the first place, and to keep coming back if the work is helpful. I cannot overstate the importance they have in making this very small business grow. :) Thank you SO MUCH to all my amazing clients for all you do, for every visit and every person you send my way.
So: if you are reading these words, you're hired! Ha! Just kidding: I do understand that you are not my marketing department. I know it's my actual job to keep JHA in existence and I loathe when small businesses try to guilt people into supporting them. But without you, I'm just a girl whose healing hands are idle. You literally allow my most meaningful work to take shape. So how can you help?
If you have been meaning to come in, please do! If you are looking for a gift, consider massage certificates! If you've never tried massage therapy and you're curious or would like to know more, get in touch! You can honestly ask me anything. If you haven't liked the Juniper Healing Arts Facebook page, please click through! If you've been a client and have had a good experience, please rate me there or leave a review - or even better, share the page to your friends! Most of all, when someone tells you how tired they are, how stiff and stressed and sad, please do tell them to text or call me any time. I'd love to meet your people. :)
As for marketing, I have no plans to start spamming inboxes now that I am back to full time, and I won't be calling to say how long it's been since your last visit or ask when you plan to use your gift certificate. I won't be accosting strangers in elevators and hallways, saying they look tense or pointing out their painful-looking posture (that only happens in my head, haha). I do plan to use my blog a bit more, as if anyone is interested. ;) It helps me map my process and allows me to easily communicate with those I may not often see. If there are any topics you'd like me to address, any massage strategies or health questions or whatever, don't be shy! Leave a comment and I will address it if I can.
This practice is nothing without you, and EVERYTHING with you.
xoxo
JJ / JHA
07 May 2014
in which our heroine is terminated
It happened! It's here! The Termination. And at such a time!
When last I wrote, I had taken back Tuesdays, and it ended up being the best, most affirming thing I'd done for myself and my practice in ages. I was booked and busy and happy and flourishing on Tuesdays, and it made the rest of my time more endurable. But after a few months, the novelty wore off, and hating my life four days a week instead of five no longer seemed like much of an improvement. Still, they started noticing me at work, learning my name and realizing what I could do for them. I started getting extra training and special projects, and the boss's boss in Rochester even asked if I planned to apply for a permanent position because I was "so good." But the fact remained that I was deeply unhappy in that place, alienated by corporate culture and -speak, undervalued and underpaid. If anything, I needed less time in that cubicle, and certainly not more. The fabric of my half-desk cube walls made me twitchy enough to take a photo. To remind myself of where I didn't belong:
Still, I stayed. I stopped being so active in seeking other work, better, more meaningful work. I appreciated the fact that I did have regular income, as little as it was, and that I didn't have to sacrifice my evenings and weekends for the temp job -- something many part time positions seem to require. I appreciated the efforts of my cousin, who'd facilitated getting me the job when I was very desperate indeed. I was rather resigned, except for happy Tuesdays. The self-hatred was ironically paralyzing.
Over the winter, I learned that Neil Gaiman, one of my very favorite authors, was coming to Syracuse for a lecture in the spring. Syracuse! My parents offered to send me, and I looked forward to his visit for months. But a few days before the lecture, I started feeling very existentially anxious. Here was this man, this writer, coming to speak, coming to read, and I'd always admired him and his work so much. I imagined meeting him, this person whose stories and storytelling so affected me; I imagined what he'd say. I think of archetypes when I think of Neil Gaiman...I think of metaphor and language and magic and identity. I imagined meeting him and I imagined him asking what I was.
I imagined him asking what I was.
Because that is the question, isn't it? And what could I possibly say? I'm a healer that spends most of her time processing insurance claims. I'm an underemployed priestess. Would you like to see my cubicle fabric? I have a photo here on my phone. I felt so ashamed of myself. And I journaled and meditated and wondered how I was ever going to lose this job, because I simply needed to lose it. If I couldn't answer to Imaginary Neil Gaiman, how could I answer to myself?
The day came ... April 29th ... and my friend Megan and I had dinner and talked and made our way to the theater. We've been supporting each other through some of these questions lately, and wondering how and where we would land, if we were to take better care of ourselves and our dreams. We've known each other since high school (that's ages!), and it's been so good to speak to another woman of heart, a fellow priestess, healer, and seeker. Funny how it's easier to trust a loved one's path than your own, and how powerful it is to see trust in your process reflected back by a smart and compassionate friend. (I've really valued our talks, Sev.)
We settled in for the lecture in our box seats (thanks, Mom & Dad!) and I noticed a call and voicemail from Rochester. It was the temp agency, an urgent message at 7:30 in the evening to call back ASAP, that I oughtn't report to work again until we spoke. I looked at Meg and told her I thought I just got sacked. Waiting for Neil Gaiman to go on stage. It was a Gaiman Miracle! And I sat through that lecture wondering if I was released. Knowing I had been. Knowing it was a gift.
And I thought: How am I going to support myself? What am I going to do? Yay! Can I build my practice up quickly enough to work for myself exclusively? I should have about 2 weeks' grace before I need a regular income coming in. Yay! I never have to go back! They have my sweater. Oh, who cares about a sweater? Yikes, what on earth am I going to do? Thank you! Thank you, higher self. Thank you, Megan. Thank you Imaginary and Real Neils and also Universe. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. But yes.
And Neil spoke. And it was wonderful. And he is an author and that is who and what he is and who and what he does. He spoke about his work and he read a bit and he answered questions from the audience. Toward the end, he answered whether he had ever taken a day job. And he laughed and said no. He said, this is what I like to do. And this is what I'm good at. So, no.
Just that.
I don't know what kind of support he had, if he was ever a Struggling Artist or if he was always just busy and successful and reasonably able to support himself and his family. I do know he works like mad, and his work is deep and true. It is meaningful to many, and celebrated and awarded and purchased and shared, as it should be.
I hope I am able, in my way, to support myself and be happy and comfortable doing work that aligns with what I am. I've been quite busy with JHA since news of my termination broke, and I am nervous that I won't be able to sustain that momentum. I am trying hard not to contract, constrict, sabotage this abundance. I am trying to honor this gift of time and space. I am sitting in Barnes & Noble and have forced myself to buy a coffee in the name of balance and energetic openness. (Yesterday I stayed in the house all day after working and ate random leftovers and had a headache and worried.)
If I were in my cubicle, I'd be watching the clock right now, waiting for my next 15-minute break, to stretch and walk and get some ice water from the 2nd or 7th floor. Knowing I had two days ahead of me before the weekend, before fresh air and physical space and breath and companionship and being able to see the weather outside. I never found dreading Mondays or hump day Wednesdays or TGIFs fun or funny. I think they're quite depressing. And I hope, I hope, to avoid them in future.
I know I might be picking up other work very soon. I have been here before and I must be open. And I am trying to trust the process, trust myself to know what to take and what to leave, and when to take it and when to leave it. I would love for any secondary work to be part time, flexible, work-from-home type work. Something I actually enjoy, something that engages my organizational and admin self. I do really enjoy making things run smoothly. Perhaps some way I can be of help to someone else running a small business? Each of us finding our way, being what and who we are, trying to balance the (real) need for a respectable income with the (real) need for self-actualization and -respect and -care.
Yes.
So what am I, Neil? I'm a Priestess. Also: Healer. Space, Time, and Breath-giver. Witness. Journeyer. And, oddly, Organizer. Spreadsheet Goddess. Sharer. Seeker.
May my paid work - and yours - reflect what we are. And may we hold sacred the space and time, the fear and excitement, the confusion and clarity. May we trust the process and be gentle with ourselves. Find others on the path, and support each other where we can.
Yes.
So: What are you?
The Day the Saucers Came - Neil Gaiman 4/29/14
When last I wrote, I had taken back Tuesdays, and it ended up being the best, most affirming thing I'd done for myself and my practice in ages. I was booked and busy and happy and flourishing on Tuesdays, and it made the rest of my time more endurable. But after a few months, the novelty wore off, and hating my life four days a week instead of five no longer seemed like much of an improvement. Still, they started noticing me at work, learning my name and realizing what I could do for them. I started getting extra training and special projects, and the boss's boss in Rochester even asked if I planned to apply for a permanent position because I was "so good." But the fact remained that I was deeply unhappy in that place, alienated by corporate culture and -speak, undervalued and underpaid. If anything, I needed less time in that cubicle, and certainly not more. The fabric of my half-desk cube walls made me twitchy enough to take a photo. To remind myself of where I didn't belong:
 |
| the actual fabric of my actual cubicle...nightmare-inducing, what? |
Over the winter, I learned that Neil Gaiman, one of my very favorite authors, was coming to Syracuse for a lecture in the spring. Syracuse! My parents offered to send me, and I looked forward to his visit for months. But a few days before the lecture, I started feeling very existentially anxious. Here was this man, this writer, coming to speak, coming to read, and I'd always admired him and his work so much. I imagined meeting him, this person whose stories and storytelling so affected me; I imagined what he'd say. I think of archetypes when I think of Neil Gaiman...I think of metaphor and language and magic and identity. I imagined meeting him and I imagined him asking what I was.
I imagined him asking what I was.
Because that is the question, isn't it? And what could I possibly say? I'm a healer that spends most of her time processing insurance claims. I'm an underemployed priestess. Would you like to see my cubicle fabric? I have a photo here on my phone. I felt so ashamed of myself. And I journaled and meditated and wondered how I was ever going to lose this job, because I simply needed to lose it. If I couldn't answer to Imaginary Neil Gaiman, how could I answer to myself?
The day came ... April 29th ... and my friend Megan and I had dinner and talked and made our way to the theater. We've been supporting each other through some of these questions lately, and wondering how and where we would land, if we were to take better care of ourselves and our dreams. We've known each other since high school (that's ages!), and it's been so good to speak to another woman of heart, a fellow priestess, healer, and seeker. Funny how it's easier to trust a loved one's path than your own, and how powerful it is to see trust in your process reflected back by a smart and compassionate friend. (I've really valued our talks, Sev.)
We settled in for the lecture in our box seats (thanks, Mom & Dad!) and I noticed a call and voicemail from Rochester. It was the temp agency, an urgent message at 7:30 in the evening to call back ASAP, that I oughtn't report to work again until we spoke. I looked at Meg and told her I thought I just got sacked. Waiting for Neil Gaiman to go on stage. It was a Gaiman Miracle! And I sat through that lecture wondering if I was released. Knowing I had been. Knowing it was a gift.
And I thought: How am I going to support myself? What am I going to do? Yay! Can I build my practice up quickly enough to work for myself exclusively? I should have about 2 weeks' grace before I need a regular income coming in. Yay! I never have to go back! They have my sweater. Oh, who cares about a sweater? Yikes, what on earth am I going to do? Thank you! Thank you, higher self. Thank you, Megan. Thank you Imaginary and Real Neils and also Universe. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. But yes.
And Neil spoke. And it was wonderful. And he is an author and that is who and what he is and who and what he does. He spoke about his work and he read a bit and he answered questions from the audience. Toward the end, he answered whether he had ever taken a day job. And he laughed and said no. He said, this is what I like to do. And this is what I'm good at. So, no.
Just that.
I don't know what kind of support he had, if he was ever a Struggling Artist or if he was always just busy and successful and reasonably able to support himself and his family. I do know he works like mad, and his work is deep and true. It is meaningful to many, and celebrated and awarded and purchased and shared, as it should be.
I hope I am able, in my way, to support myself and be happy and comfortable doing work that aligns with what I am. I've been quite busy with JHA since news of my termination broke, and I am nervous that I won't be able to sustain that momentum. I am trying hard not to contract, constrict, sabotage this abundance. I am trying to honor this gift of time and space. I am sitting in Barnes & Noble and have forced myself to buy a coffee in the name of balance and energetic openness. (Yesterday I stayed in the house all day after working and ate random leftovers and had a headache and worried.)
If I were in my cubicle, I'd be watching the clock right now, waiting for my next 15-minute break, to stretch and walk and get some ice water from the 2nd or 7th floor. Knowing I had two days ahead of me before the weekend, before fresh air and physical space and breath and companionship and being able to see the weather outside. I never found dreading Mondays or hump day Wednesdays or TGIFs fun or funny. I think they're quite depressing. And I hope, I hope, to avoid them in future.
I know I might be picking up other work very soon. I have been here before and I must be open. And I am trying to trust the process, trust myself to know what to take and what to leave, and when to take it and when to leave it. I would love for any secondary work to be part time, flexible, work-from-home type work. Something I actually enjoy, something that engages my organizational and admin self. I do really enjoy making things run smoothly. Perhaps some way I can be of help to someone else running a small business? Each of us finding our way, being what and who we are, trying to balance the (real) need for a respectable income with the (real) need for self-actualization and -respect and -care.
Yes.
So what am I, Neil? I'm a Priestess. Also: Healer. Space, Time, and Breath-giver. Witness. Journeyer. And, oddly, Organizer. Spreadsheet Goddess. Sharer. Seeker.
May my paid work - and yours - reflect what we are. And may we hold sacred the space and time, the fear and excitement, the confusion and clarity. May we trust the process and be gentle with ourselves. Find others on the path, and support each other where we can.
Yes.
So: What are you?
The Day the Saucers Came - Neil Gaiman 4/29/14
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